Shame & Guilt: Carrying what is not ours.
As Christians, we are often encouraged to practice self-examination, to look inward and face our wrong doings with the hope of repentance and restoration. We know that guilt and shame can lead to harmful behaviors, creating a ripple effect in our lives.
But what about when the shame and guilt we carry isn't ours?
For much of my life, I’ve found myself overwhelmed by the weight of guilt and shame that belonged to others. Somehow, I internalised their struggles, feeling as if I was responsible for them, seeking to atone for things I did not do. I spent years walking a path that wasn’t mine, trying to reconcile emotions that weren’t my own, attempting to fix situations that weren’t my burden to bear. And yet, despite my efforts, I was left drained, frustrated, and hurt.
Often, without warning, I would come under attack out of nowhere for another person’s grief, hurt, shame, and guilt. Their emotions would be directed at me, as if I was the source of their pain. But one day, something shifted in my understanding. I felt the need to draw a line in the sand, to say, “This is not mine to carry anymore.” Yet, even in that moment of clarity, the thought that emerged during one of my contemplative moments, yes, in the shower, (where my thoughts often flow freely)was striking: Is this what Christ feels when He carries our shame and guilt?
Christ, unlike us, could bear it. He took on the weight of our sins and transgressions, but He was able to do so because He was fully united with His Father. He embodied the divine strength and compassion of God.
Our bodies, though human, hold so much of what we feel and process, and sometimes we end up holding onto things that were never meant to be ours.
It is a strange but comforting thought to realise that Christ understands this feeling intimately. He carried the world’s guilt and shame, and yet He didn’t lose sight of His purpose. For me, this was a profound awakening:
I don’t have to carry someone else’s shame or guilt anymore. For the first time, I began to see the power of Christ’s sacrifice not just as a theological concept, but as a tangible, real understanding in my life.
In the darkest hours, when persecution comes, whether it’s direct or the result of someone else’s misgivings, Christ’s example shines brighter. He remained steadfast, grounded in His Father’s love, and did not let the weight of the world’s sins become His undoing. And neither should we.
As I begin to blog more and share these thoughts that have been on my heart, I am finally ready to lay it all down. I no longer have to hide from the shame and guilt that isn’t mine. Instead, I am learning to release it, to let go of the false responsibility, and to lean more into Christ’s strength.
